clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
