The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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