tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
