Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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