He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
