I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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