YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
