dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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