i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
