goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
please come you make the beer taste better
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
