I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
