I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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