I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
