her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
