he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
