When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
