I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
