try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
