it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
