If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
