oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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