quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
