I hate your face
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
