I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
