i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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