there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
