I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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