I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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