I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This baby is an asshole
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
