There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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