I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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