just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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