Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
