is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
