you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
