didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
