i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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