what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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