i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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