Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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