i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
