I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
