Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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