I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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