Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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