yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
