i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
