Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
