Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I have tasted many bathrooms
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
