I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
