I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
