Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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