im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
