How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
