I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
