I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
